Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
