Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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