no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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