You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
