I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Watching her eat just hurts me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
