Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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