these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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