you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
