ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize