Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
