Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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