it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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