The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
