there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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