Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize