You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
