She's JV to your varsity
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
