office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
no you cant smoke seaweed
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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