do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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