I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
