so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
