it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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