so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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