This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize