my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize