I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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