Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
