I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ugly people sure do ruin things
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
