remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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