I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
