plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
