she told me i tasted like america
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
