swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
