so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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