and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
