i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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