OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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