we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i think my mom watched the whole time
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I have fence marks all over my body
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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