This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
