is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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