so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
