Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize