I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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