Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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