Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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