this boner is exhausting
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
