my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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