i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have already put on my inside pants.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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