So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
