she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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