I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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