He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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