She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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