wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Small penises have feelings too.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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