so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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