from now on my penis is your penis
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
