My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
