Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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