so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
