i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
