Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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