no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
