dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
