Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
