dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
