if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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