I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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